A Not-So-Distant Outsider


“She is from America.” “She is a foreigner.”

This is how people introduced me to others the first few weeks in Dharwad. Moreover, I found that people I met on buses, streets, shops and markets always wanted to say hi/hello and ask me questions in Kannada, their local language, which I unfortunately didn’t know at the time. Groups of kids approached me for autographs and loved to converse in English with me. Despite the fact that I wore kurta salwar and spoke Hindi, it was clear that I stood out as an outsider, and curious faces stared at me almost everywhere I went. This wasn’t that surprising, so I moved on and tried my best to stand out less so that I could start feeling at home here.

What surprised me more is how uncomfortable I was with other aspects of living here- dusty roads, stinky garbage all over the place, men peeing on sides of the road, reckless drivers and their incessant honking, lack of road signs, spicy breakfasts and the scarcity of non-vegetarian food. This is because although I had spent the last 6 years in the United States, I was born and raised in Nepal, a country with tremendous similarities in culture, tradition and lifestyle (including stinky garbages, lound honking, lack of road signs, dirty roads). I had thought these things would be easiest to deal with for me compared to other Sandbox Fellows because almost everyone else grew up in the States. But the first few weeks and months proved me wrong. Despite having expected all of this and having been mentally prepared to deal with cultural and lifestyle differences, I thought it would be difficult for me to spend a year here. But I loved my work, and the enthusiasm I had to make a difference in the organization that I have been working at encouraged me to keep trying to mix in and make myself at home here. I wore kurta and saree to work, spoke Hindi as much as I could, wore kajal, tika and bangles and pinned my hair like other women do here and ate chapatti, idly, sambar and dosa.
It’s been about 5 months now, and things are very different. I feel at home when I wander around the  streets of Dharwad, share lunch with my colleagues at work, when I bargain with a shopkeeper for a good deal, or when I visit a colleague’s home for an invited dinner.

“I think you are from North India. Are you from Punjab or Delhi? I can tell that from your Hindi.” I can tell that people can’t quite reconcile the facts that I have fair skin and lack a distinct South Asian look yet speak fluent Hindi without much of an accent (thanks to all the Hindi movies I watched as a kid), so they ask if I am from North India (as they know I can’t be from South India). I hardly ever get introduced as “She is from America” these days.

Does this mean I am culturally assimilated? I think it is not possible for an outsider to completely assimilate in a different culture in such a short period of time. I think I am now comfortable becoming (eating, dressing up, talking) like one of them when I am outside my apartment and making myself fit into their world. But I still eat bread, butter, cereal for breakfast before I leave for work, then go home at the end of the day and love to eat pasta, wear pajamas or shorts, and listen to tunes on my ipod. Thankfully, the change from being what I am at home to being a “culturally assimilated” outsider in Dharwad every morning when I leave for work is effortless. The fact that people here are very friendly has also made my assimilation swift and enjoyable.
This experience has made me more thoughtful about my own culture and the differences among the cultures I have experienced in Nepal, America and South India. I now value many things that I used to take for granted and I have learned much about how cultural values influence people’s attitudes towards life, family, education, and work.


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